In a sauce pan, melt butter over medium heat
Slowly add flour and whisk to combine to form a roux.
Continue whisking over medium heat until light brown in appearance.
Add garlic and continue whisking until fragrant.
Slowly pour in beer, whisking to prevent clumping. Bring to a simmer
Add mustard, The Cure, and Cock-A-Voodoo, stir to combine.
Add buttermilk, whisking continuously. Bring to a simmer.
Slowly add shredded cheddar, one handful at a time. Do not add the next handful until the previous is fully melted. Continuously stir with a whisk.
When cheese is fully incorporated, simmer for 5 minutes, then remove from heat.
Serve as a dip, a topping, or slather all over your body as part of a traditional Midwest mating ritual.